notes on this day; wild heart

  1. As everyone and their mother knows, I am, in fact, a Directioner. [Here are some posts mentioning or featuring my love for them.] With Zayn leaving the band, my OT5, OT3 (Zourry) and second OTP (Zouis) have all been destroyed. I am very sad and also very confused; how does a fangirl recover? I even missed half of my first class today because I had to process the shitty news I received first thing in the morning. But I’m still left with three things:
    • Pride: I am incredibly proud of Zayn (ha!) for this decision. He’s younger than my sister and barely older than me; I can’t imagine the sadness and exhaustion and pressure he had to live with as a celebrity, tireless performer, POC and introvert all at once. I hope he finds his happiness. I also hope the band lives through this.
    • Limits: I realized that while I love One Direction enough to think about this news the whole day, I don’t love them enough to cry. Notable, but not unexpected.
    • And a Tumblr dashboard that’s trying to kill me with feels.

      This has been my desktop background for the last five hundred years, by the way. #AlwaysInOurHeartsZayn
      This has been my desktop background for the last five hundred years, by the way. #AlwaysInOurHeartsZayn
  2. Strangers make better friends. The shallow nature inherent in conversations between strangers is such a lovely thing. The lack of expectations, of commitment and of any thought of the long-term add a layer of freedom to the social interaction. There’s absolutely nothing to lose with being yourself, or with not being yourself. With friends or family or acquaintances you’re expected to say hello to when passing them by in corridors, the conversations can also be light, but they will always carry an unavoidable and sometimes exhausting nuance.
  3. It’s almost Saturday. And we know what that means. Our family usually goes on a trip abroad every year or so, if we can pull it off, but every five years is a special occasion (just because). This coming trip to Japan marks the longest trip we’ll be having since Europe 2010, and I am very excited to celebrate my mom’s birthday in a country with blooming cherry blossoms! I hope we don’t kill each other. I hope we have some good fun!
    • But first I have to finish, proofread and print my Bio 199 Research Proposal. By tomorrow. Damn.

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