now it’s three in the morning /

first impressions count, when you’re determining social behavior in the next two, three interactions. like entertaining birds initiating a mating ritual, we observe for visual cues. words, tone.

but they won’t count forever. impressions can do nothing but evolve, unless you’re particularly and stupidly prejudiced. unless there comes no opportunity for evolution, in which case. sucks.

i can hardly remember my first impression of anyone. just my impression of them now.

or maybe i just have faulty memory.


if we’re talking about the central nervous system, which we’re not, but let’s assume we are.

the hippocampus is involved with memory and emotions. from formation to storage to organization. lesions in the region can cause problems: lack of memory, emotional control. emotions and memory in general.

i can only guess that i was born with a very small or very lazy hippocampus, if there ever could be such a thing.

i should ask ma’m dv.


and lastly, the theory of mindfuckery. it never fails to drive me crazy that there are roughly seven billion people on this earth. and each person has their own genius and foibles.

i’m standing here, in a corner, holding my individual life with grasping hands. some such. and elsewhere, only two or three steps to my right or a few meters to my left is a person with greater problems, or lesser ones, and incomparable achievements. one person out of an innumerable many.

i am surrounded at all sides by strangers who i could have befriended, or loved, or hated, or forgotten, or admired.

if we only meet.

which we didn’t. and we won’t.


/ and i’m trying to change your mind.

going to sleep now

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